The teacher found this surprising because she didnt know he was a detective. Little Johnny and his two friends are sitting on the front porch one day. Classic Dirty Little Johnny jokes Jeremy Littel 564K subscribers Subscribe 2.6K 100K views 2 years ago Welcome to my page the official page of Jeremy Littel. Check out funny Little Johnny jokes we have found for you. Quickly, dad tells him to leave.When mom and dad come out of the room, they explain to Johnny that sometimes daddys get a big tummy and mommys have to jump on it so it will deflate.Then Johnny replies, But why does mommy have to deflate it when Ms. Jane next door just comes over every day to blow it back up?Little Johnny walked into class every morning with a black eye.After a few days of this happening, the teacher became very worried and asked him about it.Johnnys answer was: Our house is very small Miss. I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce to you after dinner.Little Johnny is walking down the street and sees a construction site building new housesHe has a look at whats going on and hes amazed and in awe of it all. After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, Are Fred and Mary up yet? We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. Of course not, Johnny! The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional". Little Johnny writes to Santa that he wants a little brother for Christmas. When mom and dad come out of the room, they explain to Johnny that sometimes daddys get a big tummy and mommys have to jump on it so it will deflate. Then Louie who was sitting next to me saw it and he reached over and pulled it out. I went home with it and came back with it this morning.Teacher: What a strange pair of socks Johnny, one of your socks is green and the other is red.Johnny: Yes, it is very strange. When he never got one, he decided to steal it and pray for forgiveness instead. Johnny says, Jesus is in my bathroom every morning. "No!". Here is the list of Little Johnny jokes with Mom and Dad. When they got to periods, Johnny asked, Why are periods so important? Sure enough, he raised his hand, practically leaping out of his desk to make sure she saw him. His mom replies, I dont want to hear what you think! Its something your mommy probably calls your daddy all the time. Instantly, Little Johnny coughed his onto the floor and shouted, Quick! Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. Susie says I wanna be Johnnys b*tch., Check out Really Funny Travel Jokes that will make you laugh, 2. With a tampon you can go swimming, biking and skiing.Little Johnny was sent back to bed for the tenth time that evening and his mommy is not amused.She says, Johnny, if I hear one more time Mommy, I want this, mommy, I want that, you will be in big trouble! regular teacher. Prussy." Boss: "That bustard. His mom says "No." Its never boring to read little Johnny jokes.Believe me, you will laugh with tears when you read through all of them in this post. I dont want to hear the word mommy again tonight. Do you know a good joke which isn't here. And she said we should recite it till we learned it! The next day his mother went to the teacher to complain. So I thought I should start a website about jokes. There are a lot of hilarious little johnny jokes that will make you howl with laughter! She asked, So Johnny feels stupid occasionally?To which he replied, No, but it must be hard for you to stand alone.Little Johnnys teacher went to pay his family a home visit.When Johnnys grandpa saw her walking over, he told him to hide.Johnny quickly said, No way. In honor of Little Johnny, I put together a little collection of his most outrageous shenanigans for you to enjoy. Little Johnny, with his hand waving eagerly in the air, is finally called on. He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue.". Dirty little Johnny jokes for all. 145 Short Dirty Jokes That Bring More Adult Humor, 157 Dirty Minded Jokes That Will Bring Out Your Naughty Side, 155 Best Wedding Jokes to Kick off Your Speech, 160 Hilarious Wife Jokes to Spark Joy in Your Marriage, 150 Hilarious Train Jokes to Engineer Laughs on Your Face, 150 Hilarious Tree Jokes to Fresh Your Mind, 152 Hilarious Wine Jokes to Make Conversation More Enjoyable, 151 Hilarious Tomato Jokes That Are So Juicy. We share them in our weekly newsletter. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends! When his Dad came home, Billy mentioned, Dad, our rooster is dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why not! And that is that when you keep making faces, your face finally cant go back and you end up really ugly.Little Johnny quiets and says, Well, at least you were warnedTeacher: If you had two dollars and you asked your daddy for another dollar, how many dollars would you have in the end?Without hesitation, Johnny answers, Two dollars.Teacher isnt happy, Come on, Johnny, you dont know how to count.Johnny shrugs, Maybe, but I do know my dad!Teacher asks his class one day, What would you like to be when you grow up?Johnny answers first, saying, I will follow in my fathers footsteps and become a policeman.Teacher raises his eyebrows, Johnny, I didnt know your father is a policeman.Well, he isnt, explains Johnny. Little Johnny jokes are about a small boy who naively poses questions and makes statements that are very embarrassing to his "grownup" listeners (such as parents and teachers), and has a very straightforward way of thinking. They were very proud of him and supportive, until Johnny said, Great, I left your luggage next to the front door. He says out loud, "One plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. Little Timmy says, I can feel Jesus presence during Mass. Little Johnny replies, No, but it must be hard for you to stand alone., The teacher asked why George Washingtons father didnt punish him for chopping down the cherry tree. The boy greets him by saying, I know the whole truth. The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!, Check out 20 Really Funny School Jokes that will make you laugh, 7. Johnny's father said, "Johnny, I thought we had a talk!" Little Johnny was asked to use the pronoun I in a sentence. Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in Are you grabbing the nickel because its bigger, or what?Slowly, Johnny turned toward the store owner and a big grin appeared on his face and Johnny said, Well, if I took the dime, theyd stop doing it, and so far I have saved $20!Little Johnny is at Toys R Us looking for a new toy to buy. If I put two apples on your desk, then two more, and then two more, how many apples would you have?Johnny says, Six.The teacher says, Good, now if I give you two cats, and Jimmy gives you two more, and then Sally gives you two more, how many cats would you have?Johnny again says, Seven.The teacher, obviously frustrated, yells at Johnny, Why do you keep saying seven? Read more: Bad jokes that are totally cringe-worthy! Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock. 27 Ultimately Happy Quotes to Make your Day A-okay! Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. No, no. said the teacher terrified. He scares the shit out of it. Oh dad, Johnny sobbed. In one post, it would be impossible to put all the jokes about little Johnny together. But I dont want a child.Oh, dont worry, the boy said reassuringly, Ill use a condom!One, day little Johnny asks his father,Daddy where do I come from?The mother and father, had been preparing for this, for a very long time.Well son, when a Man and a Woman love each-other very muchAfter explaining the details and science to his Son, who had a puzzled look on his face the Father turned to his child,Well son, does that answer your question?Not really Susan from school told me she came from Italy.A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: What do you want to be when yougrow up?Little Johnny says: I wanna start out as a Fighter Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest Prostitute, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while bang her like a loose screen door in a hurricane.The teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Johnny, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson. Before they left their house, Little Johnnys dad had a chat with him and explained how the baby had no ears.Johnnys dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the babys missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the hiding of his life when they came back home.Little Johnny told his dad he understood and agreed not to mention the babys lack of ears.Johnny looks in the basonet and says Wow, what a beautiful baby. The mother replies, Why, Thanks Johnny. Johnny says: He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. 7. I am the ninth letter.. the teacher asks. Jane, Do you know any multi-syllable words? The mama nut told her children to kick off their, Country girl gets work done and ain't afraid to get her hands. Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom, flat on her back with her legs in the air, screaming, Jesus, Im coming! Please let us know in the comment section. I am Jimmy, clown at heart. We just have the same pets.. His mother asks What on earth are you doing Johnny?Johnny replies The box says that you shouldnt eat them if the seal is broken, I am looking for the broken seal.Teacher: Little Johnny, you are late to class again.Johnny: But miss, you said that it is never too late to learn.Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him Johnny, where is your report card?Johnny replies sorry dad, I dont have it. Timing, whats the difference between a good. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". Little Johnny pulled out his pee-pee in class today! Your support helps us to write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers . You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. She said: This essay youve written about your pet dog is exactly the same essay your brother has written. Of course it is. said Johnny. Finally she glared at Johnny and called on him. Wanna take the joke a little far? Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. The Teacher fainted. Jenny immediately says, I want a watch.The dad sighs and says, Alright, but go and stand in the corner and dont make any noise. Boss : "So what were you arguing about with that customer?" We just have the same pets.Little Johnny hated going to church every Sunday.During this particular sermon, Johnny got so bored that he just wanted to go home.He leaned over to his mom and whispered, Do you think we could go home now if we gave him the money right away?The teacher asked the class how they spell the word elephant.Little Johnny raised his hand and said, E-L-E-F-A-N-T.When the teacher said that its wrong, he said, Well, it may be wrong, but thats how I spell it.The teacher asked the class to stand up if they ever feel stupid.Johnny groaned before standing. Teacher: If you got ten dollars from ten people, what would you have? Johnny: A new bike. Shocked, the teacher, trying to retain her composure says, "Wow, Johnny, four syllables, that certainly is a mouthful"
Do you really expect me to believe that?Its true, Miss Martin, I swear, insisted Johnny. Little Johnny: "Yes sir"! Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher.She says, Hello class, Im Mrs Prussy. 89 FUNNY Apple Jokes That Will Keep You Asking For More! You need to hide, grandpa. This week in Little Johnnys English class, they were learning about punctuation.When they got to periods, Johnny asked, Why are periods so important?The teacher informed him and asked why he wanted to know.He said, When my sister told us that she missed a period, my father began yelling, and my mom passed out.Some of the older neighbourhood boys have been making fun of Little Johnny lately.There latest trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime.Johnny always takes the nickel and the older boys laugh at him.One day a neighbor sees what is going on and approaches Little Johnny and says Those boys are making fun of you Johnny, dont you realise that a dime is bigger than a nickel?Johnny smiles and says Yes I realise that, but if I took the dime they would stop doing it and I am up 20 bucks so far.This happened with my great uncle and young cousin for years.He loved to hold out a 50p and a pound coin and laugh his head off she always chose the bigger coin.Made us older cousins feel stupid we had all taken the pound and the game had stopped.Little Johnny asks the teacher, Can I be punished for something I havent done?The teacher is shocked. The teacher asked him why, and Little Johnny explained it was because he met a man who had lost his wallet on the street.Ah, nodded the teacher, you were helping him find it!Um, not really, said Johnny, but I had to keep standing on it until he would give up and go away.Teacher asks, Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?Little Johnny pipes up, HIJKLMNO!The teacher is puzzled, What on Earth are you talking about, Johnny?Little Johnny looks hurt, But sir, you yourself said yesterday that its H to O!History teacher asks Little Johnny: Where was the French English peace treaty from 1800 signed?Little Johnny: Bottom right corner.The class was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a meadow.Soon, Little Johnny lifts a hand that hes finished and shows the teacher a blank sheet of paper.But Johnny, you didnt paint anything on it? says the teacher.Well, the cows have eaten all the grass and since there was no grass left, they just went away.Little Johnny peeks through the keyhole of his parents bedroom one night.He stares for a minute and then, thoroughly disgusted, shakes his head, And these people tell me I shouldnt pick my nose? Little johnny's dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. what is it?" she asked. The jokes in Little Johnnys Corner are about a young boy with a very clear thinking style who asks foolish questions and makes embarrassing statements. I have told you before that the customer is always right. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me.Couple hours later the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed.She walks up to him and slaps across the face shouting Im leaving you Go aheadJohnny, tell him what you told me earlier.Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. Later that afternoon, Johnnys dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. These Little Johnny Teacher jokes will make you laugh hard! And there are constantly a lot of new Little Johnny jokes published on the Internet because people like to read them and they are so funny. 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